Crying in the Bathtub!

(Pat writing)
We are in the process of packing up, will leave in a few days.   i am feeling ambivalent this year, want to express this in writing.   This has been a year of major change for us, moving up here full time.   As much as we loved AA and our friends there, this has been like a kick in the pants for us.   It's been a year of physical, as well as spiritual , social and emotional growth.  I think i've wanted this since recovering from my bone marrow transplant, a sort of new chance at life.   I found it up here.     We've met so many people up here who are in the same position---newly retired, seeking lasting friendships, connections and activities, and we all seem to invigorate each other.   We go around saying how amazing it is, shaking our heads---the men and the women!
Anyway, my friend, Terrill, just helped me define what i am feeling now--it's that lethargy, the lethargy one feels before a trip.  i feel unfocused, want to just hole up, not be with anyone or do anything, slowly packing, trying to think in my mind about what i should bring, etc.   i don't want to dramatize this too much, for godssake, i mean, this will be a great trip again, but i am trying to figure out what i am feeling, why i'm irritable and withdrawn.
I mentioned to Terrill that when i was a little girl, about 4 or 5, my mom was giving me a bath, and i started crying, because my best friend, Sharon, was going on a vacation with her family.   I started crying because i was going to miss her, but i felt silly too, since i knew she'd be back.   But my mom comforted me, saying she knew how i felt, she had cried once too when a friend of hers went on a vacation.    So now that is how i feel!    So that is the theme for this moment, "Crying in the Bathtub"!  
This could also be the title of a country song, by the way.     You can write the verses, readers, if you like.